Not all breakups are created equal. Some are quick and painless, where others are heart-wrenching. A bad breakup can cause you to lose sight of yourself, lose sleep, and struggle with depression. Overcoming the trials and tribulations of a bad breakup begins with turning the attention back to yourself. Learning how to stop thinking about someone is easier said than done, but with these x tips, you’ll be well on your way healing after your bad breakup.
1. Put down your cell phone
When you suffer a bad breakup, it’s tempting to reach out to the person you broke up and even more tempting to visit their social media profiles and check in on them. These forms of self-sabotage will only make it harder to forgive, forget, and move on.
Follow the 2 golden rules:
- Don’t text your ex.
- Don’t stalk your ex on social media apps.
Whether the communication is still friendly or not, it’s important to create some distance. Calling or texting your ex is only going to result in you thinking more about the breakup. Think about: If they don’t text back, you’ll feel rejected. If they do, you may stumble back into a toxic relationship.
Virtually stalking your ex on social media has the same effect. By doing so, you continuously punish yourself by fixating on the person. You don’t need to know what they’re doing, who they’re dating now, or anything in between. If you find it difficult to do so, you can find instructions on how to block their accounts here. You’ll be happy you did.
2. Dedicate yourself to self-care
Self-care is an important aspect of your overall health. It doesn’t take crystals, smoothies, or yoga classes to perfect it either. Despite what Instagram may have led you to believe, self-care is as simple as relaxing in the bath or taking a walk around the block. Any time you commit to doing something for you, you’re practicing self-care.
So, instead of letting negative thoughts consume you entirely, commit to hobbies that you truly enjoy. Protect your time by mentally scheduling time for yourself. Don’t schedule plans that are exhausting. Don’t sell your time away to friends or family (unless that’s your form of self-care). Unapologetically do what makes you happy. Consider the practice as part of your personal hygiene.
3. Cleanse your environment
Are those pictures still hanging on the wall? If they are, it’s time to take them down. It’s hard to stop thinking about someone when you see their face every time you pass the refrigerator. Collect the pictures, movie ticket stubs, and memorabilia. Once you have everything in one place, get rid of it. If you can’t bear to throw certain items in the trash, ask a trusted friend or family member to hold on to the box. In time, you may find that you no longer have an emotional attachment (or reaction) to the items.
If you feel like your apartment now feels bare, fill it up. Find artwork to replace the pictures. Hang those curtains your partner never liked it. This breakup has given you the opportunity to have complete ownership of your environment. In fact, decorating is good for your mental health. It grounds you as a person and allows you to have a safe space of your own.
4. Learn something new
If you’ve always wanted to learn how to fence, now is the time. Oftentimes, a bad breakup can leave a person feeling like there is a literal hole in their life. A healthy way to ‘fill that hole’ is by learning something new. Not only does it help you fill up your newfound time, but it also presents the opportunity to meet new people.
Simply put, creating new memories will help you move on from the memories you created with your ex. It allows you to grow. Meaning you are truly not the person you were before. You’re an even better version of yourself.
5. Accept that healing will take time
Instead of focussing on the horrid pain of your life, focus on where you’re going. A broken heart doesn’t heal overnight and you shouldn’t expect that yours can. Allow yourself to feel the emotions associated with the breakup, but don’t dwell on them. After the initial shock subsides, actively work at your healing.
Understand that there is no magic formula that will heal your heartbreak overnight. Instead, know that time will heal your wounds and healthy boundaries will help you get there. When it’s been a hard day, have faith that there will be a better one. Don’t rush the process. As cliche as it sounds, time will heal your wounds.
Last but not least, ask for help. A bad breakup can be as devastating as the loss of a family member. Mental health should be treated with the same attention you give your body when you have a cold. Turn to trusted friends, talk to your family, and don’t be afraid to seek out professional help. No one can tell you exactly how to get over a bad breakup, but they can support you.
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