Respect for a man means:
- Recognition of his authority and status as a leader, head of the family;
- Respectful attitude for his physical and male sexual power;
- Recognition of his talents and abilities;
- Respect for his merits and achievements;
- Respect for his interests and hobbies;
- Recognition of his dignity;
- Trust in his decisions;
- The respectful address to the man and the lack of contemptuous and arrogant tones in the voice;
- Respect for the personal space of a man (phone, computer, diary) as well as his family and friends;
- There can be some custom rules of respect in a family, for example, to meet a husband at the door or to serve a man with dinner when he comes home. Here, respect underlines the status of a man.
A lot of the list can be attributed to a woman as well, but there are certain differences.
What respect for a woman means
If you want to meet ladies, then you have to learn that respect means to:
- Recognize a woman as a separate and unique personality (she is special, not like everyone else);
- Recognize her attractiveness and sexuality;
- For a woman, the correct tone of voice and the correct, non-hurtful language is important;
- Respect the woman’s work and her actions aimed at creating comfortable conditions;
- Be equal in status and make a woman feel her active participation in family life;
- Respect for her emotions, feelings, and experiences;
A sign of disrespect is the lack of attention on the part of the man. Extreme disrespect is assault, yelling, and insulting. Infidelity can be assessed not just as disrespect but a crime against family values. For women, the concepts of love and respect are closely intertwined. Disrespect is often a sign of lack of love. If the family is respected, then people are comfortable together; they express their point of view easily and do so without fear. The presence of respect in the family can also be indicated by stable and high self-esteem. For example, a woman in such a family will feel loved, and her husband will feel like the leader of such a coalition.
Lack of respect in a family
One of the reasons for the loss of respect is the inability to respect the personal space of another person. We perceive a person that is very close and dear to us as a stranger; we do not perceive them as an individual with their own shortcomings and advantages. We do not see the strengths and focus on the weaknesses that a person has.
When two people just met and fell in love, respecting each other is not difficult because all attention, actions, and desires are directed only to one person.
Lovers try to become one, so as to open to each other as much as possible. And over time, the boundaries between me and another person blur, it seems that the other person is a continuation of me, and I can treat them as well as myself. And this means controlling another person, demanding something from them. And when the love passes, and the relationship comes to a new level. You begin to see other sides of a person you love. You come to realize that a person has flaws, and sometimes they do unpleasant things to you or, as it seems to you, act completely wrong. Respect leaves the relationship. The things which you could not even allow yourself at the beginning of the relationship, at the time of falling in love, turn out to be normal, and you feel like the love is gone. Two people allow themselves to relax and begin to behave the way they want. For example, when you are just dating and exchanging presents, going out to have some good time together, you wouldn’t even dare to call your female partner a bitch, but now, everything seems to be quite different.
Crucial principles of respect worth reflecting on
As you have already found out, respect is a comprehensive concept that contains a huge number of different things and is the recipe for a healthy relationship. You cannot build a strong background for the successful development of your relationships without this component. Love and respect are a concrete mixture that doesn’t allow your union to fall apart. There are three important principles of respect that each of the partners should adhere to.
1. Respect must be mutual
You are together because you love each other. If only one fell in love, and another one remained indifferent, there would be no relationship. This feeling must be mutual. The same is about respect. If you respect your partner, but they neglect you, this is not a healthy relationship but a power struggle. Over time, a person who refuses to respect a partner will win. For example, a woman can think that everything is great in their relationships because her partner doesn’t dare to argue with her, however, she has never asked her partner about his feelings. Respect can be only mutual. It is a must.
2. Respect must become a habit
People who get married in full confidence that they will love each other until the final breath will face severe disappointment. Love is not eternal. It comes and goes. Stable and wise couples realize that it’s impossible to rely on ephemeral passion all your life. They learn to treat each other with love, even in those moments when they do not feel it. The same is about respect.
Admiration for a partner can be extremely changeable. For example, today you can believe that your partner is the best person in the whole universe, and tomorrow you can think that you might have bad karma so that’s why you have to live with this terrible person. This is normal. You do not have to admire them every day. Just be respectful. Respect, like love, is a habit.
3. Respect needs constant work from both sides
People who want to have strong and healthy relationships should strive for unconditional respect. Everyone should understand that love depends on various conventions in most cases. A rare person can experience an unconditional love towards another person who is not their close relative like a child. A rare person can love no matter what. Frankly speaking, we love people for meeting our expectations. Therefore, the love of mother and child is so beautiful. It is unconditional at its best. Parents do not stop loving their children, even if they upset them. It would be wonderful if the same selfless attachment can remain between the partners. However, unfortunately, this does not always happen. You will not be able to love a person who constantly fails, deceives or cheats on you. Everything has a limit. The same is about respect.
Respect is never unconditional. If a partner was cheating on you, and you found out about that, you will most likely cease to respect them, and you will be right. Nonetheless, most people are not liars or cheaters. They try to do everything right, but sometimes people overdo and cross the notorious invisible line that divides your life into the period before and after the incident.
Respect is an indispensable condition of love. You cannot “give” it like candy for good behavior or because you have a good mood. Things don’t work this way. If you want to have strong and healthy relationships with your partner, you should deny them neither respect nor love. It’s smarter to say directly and sincerely, “Even if you act in your own way, I will still try to respect you because I love you.” The main thing is that the partner should also be ready to make such a promise.